all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
