DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
