just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
