The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
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Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
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That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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