i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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