i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
