We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize