it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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