So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
