I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
