Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
