I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
