okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize