In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
We're too hungover to prance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize