ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
