I puked a lego.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
