I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize