i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize