if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
