he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
