Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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