My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
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