i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
