Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
