no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
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Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
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I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!