Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?