I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
