my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize