Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize