your parents love me but you hate me
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
