every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
