I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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