Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
