i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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