what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
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The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
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I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war