I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
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I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
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Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.