The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I need a hoe opinion