Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.