grandma shit on top of the toilet
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She just used a chaser for red wine.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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