I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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