Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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