My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
