i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize