I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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