Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
