erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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