i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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