How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
sex in a hospital.. check
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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