Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
