Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You were trust falling into bushes
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize