Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
