Texts From Last Night

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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.

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  (704): I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead. http://tfl.nu/olst
  Replies (39) Good night (5404) Bad night (699)
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  (516): View more from New York

  you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish

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  (516): you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish http://tfl.nu/rp8q
  Replies (17) Good night (598) Bad night (4088)
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  (631): View more from New York

  you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.

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  (631): you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester. http://tfl.nu/t9ow
  Replies (16) Good night (8283) Bad night (604)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved

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  (613): you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved http://tfl.nu/t5ge
  Replies (33) Good night (8094) Bad night (1027)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.

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  (804): My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am. http://tfl.nu/wlcl
  Replies (5) Good night (2697) Bad night (1340)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.

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  (651): If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches. http://tfl.nu/ldak
  Replies (13) Good night (1247) Bad night (2365)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets

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  (+44): drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets http://tfl.nu/vhzs
  Replies (4) Good night (2181) Bad night (539)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment

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  (515): I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment http://tfl.nu/kkgu
  Replies (11) Good night (699) Bad night (3040)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.

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  (870): I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer. http://tfl.nu/bxkb
  Replies (5) Good night (2193) Bad night (487)
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  (760): View more from California

  just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?

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  (760): just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this? http://tfl.nu/n5g9
  Replies (3) Good night (1678) Bad night (432)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?

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  (512): I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I? http://tfl.nu/ch97
  Replies (6) Good night (1548) Bad night (409)
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  (310): View more from California

  Just called the consul general of France "dude"

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  (310): Just called the consul general of France "dude" http://tfl.nu/uwot
  Replies (7) Good night (2302) Bad night (752)
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  (646): View more from New York

  I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!

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  (646): I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me! http://tfl.nu/zxm1
  Replies (6) Good night (437) Bad night (428)
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  (347): View more from New York

  THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.

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  (347): THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI. http://tfl.nu/yt9w
  Replies (4) Good night (483) Bad night (471)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?

  (727): View more from Florida

  Oh god...probably.

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  (309): Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping? (727): Oh god...probably. http://tfl.nu/m37j
  Replies (3) Good night (898) Bad night (371)

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