Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(204): View more from Manitoba

I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?

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(204): I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right? http://tfl.nu/emft

Replies (9) Good night (1296) Bad night (790)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something

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(202): the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something http://tfl.nu/lezg

Replies (2) Good night (1168) Bad night (606)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.

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(202): Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help. http://tfl.nu/hn4q

Replies (4) Good night (3187) Bad night (618)
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(303): View more from Colorado

normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.

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(303): normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective. http://tfl.nu/9jpo

Replies (28) Good night (5569) Bad night (770)
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(614): View more from Ohio

how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready

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(614): how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready http://tfl.nu/g5tv

Replies (17) Good night (10291) Bad night (837)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number

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(617): i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number http://tfl.nu/mfjx

Replies (14) Good night (7086) Bad night (1081)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.

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(404): Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs. http://tfl.nu/4a67

Replies (18) Good night (6010) Bad night (1200)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol

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(910): can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol http://tfl.nu/846v

Replies (5) Good night (2349) Bad night (1307)
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(713): View more from Texas

Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on

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(713): Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on http://tfl.nu/6fw7

Replies (5) Good night (2767) Bad night (1618)
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(907): View more from Alaska

We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.

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(907): We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab. http://tfl.nu/cfiv

Replies (7) Good night (2157) Bad night (804)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS

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(203): WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS http://tfl.nu/964x

Replies (9) Good night (1716) Bad night (662)
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(314): View more from Missouri

oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.

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(314): oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night. http://tfl.nu/0hqo

Replies (4) Good night (1256) Bad night (1102)
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(563): View more from Iowa

I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.

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(563): I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers. http://tfl.nu/w57w

Replies (7) Good night (2167) Bad night (689)
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(775): View more from Nevada

This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.

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(775): This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door. http://tfl.nu/tqwh

Replies (5) Good night (390) Bad night (601)
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(287): View more from

It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.

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(287): It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab. http://tfl.nu/s9lc

Replies (1) Good night (391) Bad night (164)

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