Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.

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(813): View more from Florida

There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it

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(909): View more from California

I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.

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(253): View more from Washington

waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me

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23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Read it at the TFLN blog
(239): View more from Florida

Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way

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(301): View more from Maryland

Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent

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(406): View more from Montana

You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.

(1-406): View more from Montana

That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.

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(775): View more from Nevada

He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind

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