Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab

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  (917): i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab http://tfl.nu/gssq
  Replies (8) Good night (2985) Bad night (789)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"

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  (631): Strippers tramp stamp says "mom" http://tfl.nu/an62
  Replies (21) Good night (832) Bad night (4460)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.

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  (785): Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father. http://tfl.nu/ibri
  Replies (21) Good night (2555) Bad night (5407)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.

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  (440): he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went. http://tfl.nu/izjf
  Replies (37) Good night (1250) Bad night (5768)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.

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  (918): My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost. http://tfl.nu/50uv
  Replies (32) Good night (845) Bad night (2993)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.

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  (978): she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head. http://tfl.nu/uhfs
  Replies (7) Good night (4371) Bad night (1025)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.

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  (508): I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week. http://tfl.nu/6t8r
  Replies (16) Good night (3505) Bad night (1369)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.

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  (703): you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him. http://tfl.nu/eh64
  Replies (26) Good night (5101) Bad night (1461)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.

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  (902): Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines. http://tfl.nu/9k5b
  Replies (12) Good night (4699) Bad night (755)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?

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  (618): I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day? http://tfl.nu/kj71
  Replies (11) Good night (1285) Bad night (3182)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..

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  (843): Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming.. http://tfl.nu/kfd5
  Replies (49) Good night (2896) Bad night (5076)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning

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  (330): that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning http://tfl.nu/x1eb
  Replies (2) Good night (938) Bad night (1743)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.

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  (732): Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age. http://tfl.nu/drps
  Replies (5) Good night (1278) Bad night (647)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me

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  (815): This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me http://tfl.nu/y5v6
  Replies (6) Good night (397) Bad night (837)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.

  (416): View more from Toronto

  NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.

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  (416): Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement. (416): NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada. http://tfl.nu/6stg
  Replies (6) Good night (1474) Bad night (316)

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