My first STD was from a foam party
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.