How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.