Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words. http://tfl.nu/6lei
  Replies (35) Good night (1102) Bad night (2071)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef. http://tfl.nu/9csw
  Replies (31) Good night (698) Bad night (4829)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn. http://tfl.nu/3kzi
  Replies (15) Good night (1558) Bad night (5034)
• Favorite

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  We need to talk about our relationship.

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (575): We need to talk about our relationship. (403): I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes http://tfl.nu/0ub4
  Replies (20) Good night (9118) Bad night (1543)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in? http://tfl.nu/3561
  Replies (18) Good night (6212) Bad night (1444)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint. http://tfl.nu/kgm7
  Replies (11) Good night (3489) Bad night (939)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition. http://tfl.nu/6rth
  Replies (19) Good night (2594) Bad night (783)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening http://tfl.nu/88kw
  Replies (1) Good night (688) Bad night (311)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out. http://tfl.nu/03ma
  Replies (4) Good night (779) Bad night (427)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things. http://tfl.nu/c5bt
  Replies (3) Good night (918) Bad night (302)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream. http://tfl.nu/b74h
  Replies (3) Good night (767) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Sadly, she's the porn star that got away

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): Sadly, she's the porn star that got away http://tfl.nu/sl2s
  Replies (3) Good night (372) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale. http://tfl.nu/qpyu
  Replies (1) Good night (628) Bad night (344)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.

  (240): View more from Maryland

  That's going to be the title of my memoir.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (856): Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina. (240): That's going to be the title of my memoir. http://tfl.nu/3hns
  Replies (3) Good night (1111) Bad night (289)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber. http://tfl.nu/k9tv
  Replies (3) Good night (265) Bad night (97)

Randomize