someone threw a dead crab at me
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
As shirtless as possible
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.