Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind