His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
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It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
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There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess