she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize