i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
