He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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