i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Pants are for mortals
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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