So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
