just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
