You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
she pinky promised me she was 18
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
